It’s been a rough day.  Everything that could go wrong, has.  Yeah, one of those days.  But thankfully, even though I was grumpy as all hell, Puppie got me to the gym.  He didn’t work out with me, but that’s probably for the better anyway.  I needed the endorphin rush to get me out of a deep funk and company probably would have just annoyed me.

I’m in a much better mood now.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be better, but I’m doubting it.  I’m working on a Saturday, yet again.  Let me count the joys… oh, yeah, 0.  I think I would be handling my stress much better if I actually got enough time off work to unwind and decompress.  Right now, I’m not getting that, at all. in any way, shape, or form.  It’s got to stop.  In the past two months, I’ve had one complete weekend off.  I’m averaging two days off every three weeks, and I’m sorry, but that’s not enough for me.  My life is not my job.  My job is merely something that allows me to live my life in the fashion I choose.  When I am no longer living the life I want because of my job, that’s a deep imbalance for me.  Thankfully, I’ll be leaving my job in 2 weeks, and hopefully, I can correct that imbalance.

later

Stole this from a friend.  *AND IT’S TRUE!*

1. Accept the fact that you will lose your sanity. This is a good
starting point. As long as you accept the fact from the beginning you
will not be the same or sane at the end you will be able to enjoy
yourself more. I just thought about random acts of violence, but I’m
not afraid because I knew that from the beginning I was going to be
insane.

2. Embrace the insanity. Just accept the insanity and go with it. You
have to put a leash on it though. Afternoon techno dance parties in the
PX are good. Burning tents down is probably bad. If you start
performing the latter of the two you need to seek mental health
attention. Thinking and even saying you are going to kill people is
O.K. It’s action that will get you put in the metal bracelets.

3. Make insane plans. Learn to play the dijiridoo, plan an Everest
expedition, search for the lost city of Atlantis, know everything about
Sasquatch or instrumental trans-communication. This will keep your just
occupied enough to not completely process the insanity and chaos that
is occurring around you.

4. Accept that at about month 8 or 9 you are not going to give a shit
about anything but drinking, getting laid, climbing Mount Everest. If
you are male chances are at about the 3/4 point of your extended
deployment part of your brain will be partitioned to think about
nothing but sex. This will happen naturally with a buildup of
testosterone. Most men on deployments compensate by working on nothing
but their biceps at the gym. The testosterone will be stored in the
biceps until your return home where it will be released through sex and
drinking of alcohol.  Your job won’t matter you will want to go to the gym all the time to work on your biceps. This is why.

5. No one will give a shit about giving you time off. This is especially
true of the old guys who have never been deployed or never done an
extended deployment. Take the time off. A little bit everyday and at
least one full day every week. Just don’t show up. What are they going
to do? Put you on an extended deployment. I haven’t done anything wrong
and I’ve already done two, so really there is no incentive for me to
show up everyday non stop for 15 months. Number 6 will help with this.

6. Let people know, loudly and publicly, you are insane. People like to
avoid confrontation. People especially like to avoid confrontation with
people who have professed publicly that 1) They are crazy, and/or 2)
They will kill everyone.

7. Try to meet every celebrity that may come to your camp or FOB and
get your picture taken with them. While this is a lofty goal I think it
may be able to be accomplished, but you must have patience and no
shame. Numbers 1, 2 and 6 will help you get to the front of many of
those photo lines. The big biceps will help also.

8. This one applies to non-combat operations only: Don’t work too hard
or too fast. No matter how hard you work there will always be more work
to do. They will make up work to keep you busy. By they, I mean them,
and you know who them are. The good-idea-fairies usually in the rank of
Major or above and have been processed with the full field-grade
lobotomy. Don’t worry there are so many layers of buracracy that
someone will get done what you had to do.

You will have to deal the stupid, illiterate, and ignorant. You will
have to deal with clueless military and civilian folk. You will become
angry and enraged. Just remember this will all end in due time. Just
focus that anger in the gym on those biceps.

later

I’m working six days a week with only a half hour lunch and the threat of extended hours. Why? No one seems to know. There’s a big push to get the project we’re working on done, but no one knows what the rush is. It’s nothing critical. It is a goal for the section, but nothing that should be causing this much grief. Naturally, the motivation in the office has gone down. No surprise there. We’re working long hours for a goal that has no purpose. And to add to it, every day we get a lecture about how we need to be more motivated and that the section has lost it’s sense of urgency. Well…of course. The assumption around here is that the big boys want us to finish up this project because a large chunk of us are going to be “let go” in May (our budget is being slashed, funding will no longer be available after September [we're being replaced with cheaper, civilian technicians - way to screw the Soldier Nat'l Guard!] – and they’ve made previous threats of stopping orders at the end of April). Okay, so, now you’ve got Soldiers working long hours towards a goal they don’t understand, thinking they’re going to be cut as soon as they finish the project. Well no shit they’re not motivated, they have no sense of urgency! Are you a moron? Give us somthing to actually be happy about, and maybe then we’ll work on motivation. Till then, f’ you.

Later